Twilight Fades
Posted on 2007.02.20 at 11:00Current Location: Col. de las Artes
Current Mood:
restless
***
And our faces,
My heart,
brief as photos.
★‡ Beatae Memoriae ‡★
†Morian: A Look Into the Diary of Madness†
Current Location: Col. de las Artes
Current Mood:
restless
CONTRA/DICTION
Posted on 2006.12.24 at 07:33Current Mood:
grateful
Current Music: The Guild of Funerary Violins-Epilogue v.07
So, let's recap, shall we?
-I just got home. It's currently 7:30 a.m.
-I spent the night [after midnight] at Johomar's.
-No, we did not sleep.
-I spent the whole day yesterday with him and Chris at Pame's house, where we had a blast at her family/friend gathering. A delightful and talented bunch they are! Her mom rocks it. I drank like a fishy and held it like a pirate. :)
-Pame got me the CUTEST X-Mass gifts: Full Metal Alchemist patches and Bleach postcards.
<3 <3 <3!
-I cannot describe how awesome it was to spend a lot of time together, though Pam, Chris, and I had hung it 'round SJ all day on Friday.
***
Other than, on going upstairs, I encountered a 'lil something from the UPR.
As we all know:
This was my 1st semester as a grad student and it was all but entirely pleasant:
I've dealt with more frustration and ambiguity than I've ever had ever since my 1st year in college.
Things are hilarious, however, for today I received my grades.
And the excitement left me in awe as follows:
NO.
...I still cannot believe it.
I....don't know.
-I just got home. It's currently 7:30 a.m.
-I spent the night [after midnight] at Johomar's.
-No, we did not sleep.
-I spent the whole day yesterday with him and Chris at Pame's house, where we had a blast at her family/friend gathering. A delightful and talented bunch they are! Her mom rocks it. I drank like a fishy and held it like a pirate. :)
-Pame got me the CUTEST X-Mass gifts: Full Metal Alchemist patches and Bleach postcards.
<3 <3 <3!
-I cannot describe how awesome it was to spend a lot of time together, though Pam, Chris, and I had hung it 'round SJ all day on Friday.
***
Other than, on going upstairs, I encountered a 'lil something from the UPR.
As we all know:
This was my 1st semester as a grad student and it was all but entirely pleasant:
I've dealt with more frustration and ambiguity than I've ever had ever since my 1st year in college.
Things are hilarious, however, for today I received my grades.
And the excitement left me in awe as follows:
NO.
...I still cannot believe it.
I....don't know.
Stolen from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
margherita_luna
***
margherita_luna| ENFJ- The Teacher You scored 63% I to E, 36% N to S, 42% F to T, and 42% J to P! |
| Your type is known as the teacher, or the educating mentor. You also belong to the larger group, called idealists. You tend to bring out the best in other people. You lead without seeming to do so. People are naturally drawn to you. You expect the very best from people which takes the form of enthusiastic encouragement which is so charming that people try their best not to disappoint you. You share your personality type with 3% of the population. You need to feel a deep and meaningful connection to your romantic partners, and go to great lengths to understand and please your mate. Harmony is vitally important to you, and you often put others' needs before your own. You have a pretty thin skin and are easily hurt. Although you strive for harmony, when your values or ethics are violated, you can be very emotional, confrontational, and even punishing. However, you are very insightful about the underlying cause of conflicts, and an excellent communicator, so you have the tools to bring about a quick and peaceful resolution as long as you can keep control of your facilities. You want to be appreciated for your thoughtfulness and compassion. You need your partner to make a real effort to get to know you. Above all, you need to be able to express your feelings and have them taken seriously. Your group summary: idealists (NF) Your type summary: ENFJ |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The LONG Scientific Personality Test written by unpretentious2 on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
***
Proverbs
Posted on 2006.12.03 at 05:16Current Location: Room!
Current Mood:
tired
Current Music: Ceci's Voice...
Proverbial-Ceci on Internet Truth:
"Come on Frannie!...It’s the Internet.
You may write "LOL" on the screen, but that doesn't mean that you're really laughing. You know? You more than anybody should now."
Wow.
Proverbial.
"Come on Frannie!...It’s the Internet.
You may write "LOL" on the screen, but that doesn't mean that you're really laughing. You know? You more than anybody should now."
Wow.
Proverbial.
Writing...for the Sake of Writing
Posted on 2006.11.29 at 12:22Current Location: ...Home
Current Mood:
hungry
I will translate an investigation of 90 pgs that I have recently reduced to 30 because I'm desperate.
And because I fear that if I don't, nothing else will be good enough.
I will not take more than the weekend, because I don't have that luxury.
My three grad papers for this semester will be worth shit. I know this.
And honestly? I could not care less.
I think it's the 1st time [ever] in which I just want to pass.
As long as I get my scholarship $ and I'm able to ask for a student loan, I'm good to go.
I couldn't care less about certain relationships either.
What else is there to say?
"It was good while it lasted"?
"See you around"?
"Hope it works out for the better"?
"I told you so"?
"Oh...Well"?
or..."You know, I never really quite understood the reason for us to even get to talking, let alone be around each other. I've never really felt that close to you, anyway"?
hm..."Toodle-doo"?
..."Toodle-doo" it is to you...AND the catacombs.:)
And because I fear that if I don't, nothing else will be good enough.
I will not take more than the weekend, because I don't have that luxury.
My three grad papers for this semester will be worth shit. I know this.
And honestly? I could not care less.
I think it's the 1st time [ever] in which I just want to pass.
As long as I get my scholarship $ and I'm able to ask for a student loan, I'm good to go.
I couldn't care less about certain relationships either.
What else is there to say?
"It was good while it lasted"?
"See you around"?
"Hope it works out for the better"?
"I told you so"?
"Oh...Well"?
or..."You know, I never really quite understood the reason for us to even get to talking, let alone be around each other. I've never really felt that close to you, anyway"?
hm..."Toodle-doo"?
..."Toodle-doo" it is to you...AND the catacombs.:)
KICK IT...like an Egyptian Goddess
Posted on 2006.11.27 at 18:36Current Location: UPR *gags*
Current Music: Cirque du Soleil
Stolen from i0lit3:::
**
YAY me!
Other than this...I cannot wait to go home and stay there FOR A WHILE............[again].
i0lit3::: Honorable, straightforward and idealistic. Active and self-confident. Colors: male: white, female: blue Compatible Signs: Osiris, Thoth Dates: Mar 11 - Mar 31, Oct 18 - Oct 29, Dec 19 - Dec 31 Role: Goddess of motherhood, women, and magic; goddess of the South; protector of Imseti (the son of Horus who watched over the canopic jar containing the liver) Appearance: Woman wearing the hieroglyph for "throne" on her head Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries |
**
YAY me!
Other than this...I cannot wait to go home and stay there FOR A WHILE............[again].
I want a goat.
...A FAINTING GOAT!!! Come on now.
I want to dye its chivita and tail purple and black, put on a purple rhinestone and spikes collar, and make of her horns a rainbow.
What more can you ask for?
Dogs and cats are like totalleh overrated.
Time for some real fun.
Oh...yeah.
...A FAINTING GOAT!!! Come on now.
I want to dye its chivita and tail purple and black, put on a purple rhinestone and spikes collar, and make of her horns a rainbow.
What more can you ask for?
Dogs and cats are like totalleh overrated.
Time for some real fun.
Oh...yeah.
I arrived on Sunday at exactly 11:30 p.m.
Voyagers didn't applaud once we arrived at the airport, as it is often said that Puerto Ricans do once they're back on the island.
I'm glad they didn't; I had a nasty headache, though, in a way...I wish they had...
Perhaps that would have helped my overall hyperness, or my overwhelming feeling to just take another plane back to D.C. in a clandestine manner...
All in all, whatever have I show for my trip today...well, it'll take me days to lay out. I can say, however, I have on my sleeves endless remarks of criticism, opinionated love, and much comparatism [I have to practice right? ha.]
Currently, I'm at the UPR. I don't even know what to say bout how it feels to be back here.
To be back home---> great. Sure my room is a mess -chaos incorporated- but, it's home and it's good.
Being back at the UPR? well, I cannot say I'm disgusted...but, I guess I can say it is rather unnerving to put feet on its grounds once again. I spent two weeks without doing it and they were great.
I mean, you come HERE to get a degree (BA, MA, PhD) and be out THERE. Right?
BUT why does it feel as though once you set foot you're never getting out?
It's as though the UPR was some kind of catacomb that reaches out to haunt you, embracing you its dark wings of shadows past, spitting uncertainty at your lips and frustration on your limbs. Yes, that's exactly what the UPR is.
I have so much shit to work on and no desire to even try.
ANYWAY, as for the rest...I took awesome pixies and vids, but they're all at Raisins', since ...her pc didn't want to play and record 'em for us. She'll be sending them gradually and in filtration.
I cannot wait.
...*sigh*
Back to THIS reality.
Voyagers didn't applaud once we arrived at the airport, as it is often said that Puerto Ricans do once they're back on the island.
I'm glad they didn't; I had a nasty headache, though, in a way...I wish they had...
Perhaps that would have helped my overall hyperness, or my overwhelming feeling to just take another plane back to D.C. in a clandestine manner...
All in all, whatever have I show for my trip today...well, it'll take me days to lay out. I can say, however, I have on my sleeves endless remarks of criticism, opinionated love, and much comparatism [I have to practice right? ha.]
Currently, I'm at the UPR. I don't even know what to say bout how it feels to be back here.
To be back home---> great. Sure my room is a mess -chaos incorporated- but, it's home and it's good.
Being back at the UPR? well, I cannot say I'm disgusted...but, I guess I can say it is rather unnerving to put feet on its grounds once again. I spent two weeks without doing it and they were great.
I mean, you come HERE to get a degree (BA, MA, PhD) and be out THERE. Right?
BUT why does it feel as though once you set foot you're never getting out?
It's as though the UPR was some kind of catacomb that reaches out to haunt you, embracing you its dark wings of shadows past, spitting uncertainty at your lips and frustration on your limbs. Yes, that's exactly what the UPR is.
I have so much shit to work on and no desire to even try.
ANYWAY, as for the rest...I took awesome pixies and vids, but they're all at Raisins', since ...her pc didn't want to play and record 'em for us. She'll be sending them gradually and in filtration.
I cannot wait.
...*sigh*
Back to THIS reality.
Yes, Virginia [I]
Posted on 2006.11.01 at 22:40Current Location: Back at Vane's place
Current Music: The Red Paintings-Mad World
I just got off the Metro.
I had to get on the Red at Shady Grove, since that's the last stop it makes in Maryland, near James' house.
I took the Yellow, which connected with the Red at Gallery Place/Chinatown, so that I could be on my way back to Crystal City faster than if I had taken the Blue.
It's way simpler than those problem solving theorems, I swear.
Way much more fun, too.
Figuring out the Metro, I mean.
As soon as I arrived to Crystal City, I grabbed some breakfast/lunch/dinner {well, you know me and my one meal per day].
After that, I had to walk to through the Grey tunnel.
I encountered a problem, however, which I realized while I walked through the tunnel.
You see, when you travel/stay somewhere/die/etc., you have to make sure that at the very last moment you've with you everything, and at times more or less, than that with which you arrived.
Very well: before I left I checked more than twice to make sure that my forgetful frame of thought hadn't left anything at his place.
But, whilst walking, I had this overpowering presence of lacking that made my knees weak and my chest un-rejoice.
TRUST ME, I KNOW I have everything I had taken with me.
I know I do.
So then...Why do I feel as though I've left something of dire importance behind?
The one thing that, had I brought along, might make me feel as though everything was together?
And I had said..I wasn't going to cry. Ha. The insolence.
The Dresden Dolls!
Posted on 2006.10.27 at 16:28Current Location: Raisins' pretty-pretty/cold apt.
Current Mood:
cheerful
Current Music: The Dresden Dolls-Good Day
So, um...to my beautiful people that share this love...
I promise I'll take awesome pictures.
You can love me less after you browse through them.
Point is...
I'M SEEING THEM PLAY TONIGHT!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::
WOOT WOOT ad infinitum
I promise I'll take awesome pictures.
You can love me less after you browse through them.
Point is...
I'M SEEING THEM PLAY TONIGHT!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::
WOOT WOOT ad infinitum
The Arrow in the Eye
Posted on 2006.10.22 at 19:49Current Location: Somewhere high up...over the rainbow of creative forces
Current Music: Regina Spektor-High Fidelity
Three investigations to get done by the end of the semester, in order to be through with the three courses I'm subjected through torture for.
[Yay!!!]
For Modernismo y Modernidad *cracks a good ol' laughter* :::
I'll probably end up working with Chateaubriand or Baudelaire [duh...just....duh!]. What exactly? I'll make it up soon. Whatever.
For Poesía Occidental *sighs wonderfully*:::
I really have no choice, it's a professor's given theme: Stéphane Mallermé, Paul Celan, and Lezama Lima.
What then? Apparently I'll go with the discussion of the eminent links delirium, pain, and sensuality found in the three o'them.
And last, but incredibly not the least, for my pain-in-the-ass Metafiction course *hits her head against the wall, repeatedly, for about 10 mins.*:::
Why...I'm going to be working with the mathematical use of perspective in the paintings of Vermeer and the works of M.C. Escher and demonstrate how it translates into metafictional labor of realistic representation.
BOOYAH!
DO IT!
[Yay!!!]
For Modernismo y Modernidad *cracks a good ol' laughter* :::
For Poesía Occidental *sighs wonderfully*:::
I really have no choice, it's a professor's given theme: Stéphane Mallermé, Paul Celan, and Lezama Lima.
What then? Apparently I'll go with the discussion of the eminent links delirium, pain, and sensuality found in the three o'them.
And last, but incredibly not the least, for my pain-in-the-ass Metafiction course *hits her head against the wall, repeatedly, for about 10 mins.*:::
Why...I'm going to be working with the mathematical use of perspective in the paintings of Vermeer and the works of M.C. Escher and demonstrate how it translates into metafictional labor of realistic representation.
BOOYAH!
DO IT!
Beaux Arts
Posted on 2006.10.20 at 07:14Current Location: Cloud of Discontent
Current Mood:
crushed
Current Music: NIN-Where Is Everybody
This should be a post embedded with smart and catchy comments, phrases and quotes, which I can more than adequately rely on when defending a point, explaining a theory, and/or demand further speculation.
I assure you, however, this entry, won't be such a burden [not speaking so much for you, nay..but for me. Yes. That is correct.].
I assure you, however, this entry, won't be such a burden [not speaking so much for you, nay..but for me. Yes. That is correct.].
.Literature.
.Art.
.Art.
I've been astounded and flabbergasted by both for as long as I can remember.
I've been in the field for one of them [I represent, they recognize...that sort of thing], as you may know, thanks to the MAPR (Museum of Art of. P.R.).
Working at the MAPR, doing something that I've nearly come to abhor -teaching- I re-discovered the wonderful thin line that divides the "Art World" and Art. Simply put, the "art world" is created by all of those that can appreciate and rely on art as a form of expression and or/means of dealing with ennui (as ironic as that may seem). ART IS ...ART. It's the pure form, the creation, the intuitive and the sacred thought a priori external condition.
With that said, allow me to say: I live for Art, and [thankfully] I can survive in the Art World. It's not weird to me, then, that cultural affairs, inclusions, and conscience play an important role in my considerations. I enjoy gallas, I enjoy gallery openings, I enjoy high-profile biddings, and I enjoy a thorough formal analysis of pretty much any Beaux Art affair (though I HIGHLY condemn the snobbish chit-chat of connoisseurs, partly because they don't share their knowledge of art [whatever it may be], but they preach it).
Herein lies my the problematic source and existential dilemma with this "world". Art and its world have been forever linked, and I do not care to perish for the second.
I have a similar dilemma with literature and its world.
*sigh*
And, ever greater is my DILEMMA with people who cannot even conceive of the importance of pragmatic grasping and understanding. True, I do not want to teach, but that doesn't mean that I don't think learning and being knowledgeable isn't essential, because OMFG...IT IS. How can people want to live in a world that has produced artistic, literary, and cultural "wonders", and not WANT to understand them ALL?????? True, you might never understand them [sorry theoretical analysis, you CAN be useful, but...no], but to experience the process of creative thoughts, both rational and irrational?
No. I CANNOT conceive of a world that pays no attention poieín or verbal suicide, because I LIVE in a world of utter poieín and verbal suicide.
I understand we are all interested in different things, but to question the integrity of knowledge through languages, research, and appreciation?
Why on the Via Lactea would you do THAT???!!!
Okay. I guess what I'm trying to say is:
I DISLIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE CLOSE MINDED AND LIMIT THEMSELVES TO WHAT THEY THINK THEY CAN ACHIEVE!!!
I HATE CONFORMISTS!!!
AND I ABHOR THE BELITTLEMENT OF THE CEREBELLUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been in the field for one of them [I represent, they recognize...that sort of thing], as you may know, thanks to the MAPR (Museum of Art of. P.R.).
Working at the MAPR, doing something that I've nearly come to abhor -teaching- I re-discovered the wonderful thin line that divides the "Art World" and Art. Simply put, the "art world" is created by all of those that can appreciate and rely on art as a form of expression and or/means of dealing with ennui (as ironic as that may seem). ART IS ...ART. It's the pure form, the creation, the intuitive and the sacred thought a priori external condition.
With that said, allow me to say: I live for Art, and [thankfully] I can survive in the Art World. It's not weird to me, then, that cultural affairs, inclusions, and conscience play an important role in my considerations. I enjoy gallas, I enjoy gallery openings, I enjoy high-profile biddings, and I enjoy a thorough formal analysis of pretty much any Beaux Art affair (though I HIGHLY condemn the snobbish chit-chat of connoisseurs, partly because they don't share their knowledge of art [whatever it may be], but they preach it).
Herein lies my the problematic source and existential dilemma with this "world". Art and its world have been forever linked, and I do not care to perish for the second.
I have a similar dilemma with literature and its world.
*sigh*
And, ever greater is my DILEMMA with people who cannot even conceive of the importance of pragmatic grasping and understanding. True, I do not want to teach, but that doesn't mean that I don't think learning and being knowledgeable isn't essential, because OMFG...IT IS. How can people want to live in a world that has produced artistic, literary, and cultural "wonders", and not WANT to understand them ALL?????? True, you might never understand them [sorry theoretical analysis, you CAN be useful, but...no], but to experience the process of creative thoughts, both rational and irrational?
No. I CANNOT conceive of a world that pays no attention poieín or verbal suicide, because I LIVE in a world of utter poieín and verbal suicide.
I understand we are all interested in different things, but to question the integrity of knowledge through languages, research, and appreciation?
Why on the Via Lactea would you do THAT???!!!
Okay. I guess what I'm trying to say is:
I DISLIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE CLOSE MINDED AND LIMIT THEMSELVES TO WHAT THEY THINK THEY CAN ACHIEVE!!!
I HATE CONFORMISTS!!!
AND I ABHOR THE BELITTLEMENT OF THE CEREBELLUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Qu'est qu'il faut entendre!
Posted on 2006.10.18 at 20:39Current Location: At home...though I should be elsewhere
Current Mood:
disappointed
Current Music: Fiona Apple-Criminal
Quotes that excel in Awesomeness:
"Hey Frannie! I found out something else that you
and Megan Mullally have in common, other than
loving Vodka, and having a gay bf that touches your boobs:
she's bi, too!!!!"
- by Lito Candy Boi, for me, on Where the hell have you been, bitch?!
"Yeah! So, you should like type the names of ALL the people that
have fallen for you, so that, when you feel down, well, you don't.
But like, you have to write those names in a BIG font tho, cuz, I don't want to
be hearin':
"Oh Ce! I cannot see that type of font through my tears."
- by Emo Pink Monday, for me, on: Frannie's Conquests (2006)
"I'll be honest,
I don't trust my guitar playin'
but I trust my creativity."
- by Edgardo, for me, on The band we're planning on putting together
"Hey Frannie! I found out something else that you
and Megan Mullally have in common, other than
loving Vodka, and having a gay bf that touches your boobs:
she's bi, too!!!!"
- by Lito Candy Boi, for me, on Where the hell have you been, bitch?!
"Yeah! So, you should like type the names of ALL the people that
have fallen for you, so that, when you feel down, well, you don't.
But like, you have to write those names in a BIG font tho, cuz, I don't want to
be hearin':
"Oh Ce! I cannot see that type of font through my tears."
- by Emo Pink Monday, for me, on: Frannie's Conquests (2006)
"I'll be honest,
I don't trust my guitar playin'
but I trust my creativity."
- by Edgardo, for me, on The band we're planning on putting together
And to think I was fine…
I was just browsing, as usual, and then I saw your comment [not on my page, of course]. I mean, do you remember me?
There are "platonic lovers" in the world, it is said.
Apparently, we are platonic friends.
I don’t get it.
You always seem so eager to please…you seem so nice as well. Not to forget, you carry beauty with you, as well.
I cannot deny that you helped me, many times, and for that I’ll be forever grateful.
Still, I don’t understand.
And you know…it hurts too much, so…I don’t care to, anymore.
It’s funny, how you always seemed to present me as one of your closest friends.
But I guess that’s what platonic is, right? You feel it, but it’s not necessarily there. Is it?
Because you like how I write, I can but only try to manifest what I feel through letters and phrases that which I currently beat to; letters and phrases that will still be empty once I’m done, because you won’t understand them.
They make no sense, do they?
Then again, I've always felt there's something that was left unsaid between us as friends.
I still cannot recall how much I loved you.
I don’t think I should.
Neither can I recall as to how much you cared or really listened.
That is for you to know.
I guess this is that part of the cycle when you turn around and walk away.
I guess this is the part of the cycle in which you burn pages and shed but one tear.
You always meant the world to me, somehow.
It’s weird.
Very weird…
Now, you’re not even on the outline.
I do not know how it happened.
Heh.Scratch that. I know too well, but I refuse to blame circumstances.
I miss you, and I don’t know why.
That’s the pain that swallows me whole.
I treaded on dreams,
While you held on to their hues.
I was just browsing, as usual, and then I saw your comment [not on my page, of course]. I mean, do you remember me?
There are "platonic lovers" in the world, it is said.
Apparently, we are platonic friends.
I don’t get it.
You always seem so eager to please…you seem so nice as well. Not to forget, you carry beauty with you, as well.
I cannot deny that you helped me, many times, and for that I’ll be forever grateful.
Still, I don’t understand.
And you know…it hurts too much, so…I don’t care to, anymore.
It’s funny, how you always seemed to present me as one of your closest friends.
But I guess that’s what platonic is, right? You feel it, but it’s not necessarily there. Is it?
Because you like how I write, I can but only try to manifest what I feel through letters and phrases that which I currently beat to; letters and phrases that will still be empty once I’m done, because you won’t understand them.
They make no sense, do they?
Then again, I've always felt there's something that was left unsaid between us as friends.
I still cannot recall how much I loved you.
I don’t think I should.
Neither can I recall as to how much you cared or really listened.
That is for you to know.
I guess this is that part of the cycle when you turn around and walk away.
I guess this is the part of the cycle in which you burn pages and shed but one tear.
You always meant the world to me, somehow.
It’s weird.
Very weird…
Now, you’re not even on the outline.
I do not know how it happened.
Heh.
I miss you, and I don’t know why.
That’s the pain that swallows me whole.
I treaded on dreams,
While you held on to their hues.
I often find myself thinking, while staring at something that later becomes nothing, nothing at all.
Hands together, legs crossed.
And I am so very, very happy with things that aren't.
Truly ecstatic with things that didn't become.
...Until I acknowledge I am thinking about them in their realization.
***
Other than that...
Last week was hellish.
The weekend was worse.
Monday...I resurrected, somehow.
I had to work on this test during the weekend for my poetry class.
FUCKED-UPNESS ALL OVER, it was, to say the least.
In the end, I did it, and I think I got into the trip, too:
[...]
"Se podría decir, en resumen, que el mito, trasfondo caótico e inmemorial, es el momento donde las cosas no se distinguen unas de otras; es la indistinción de lo real. El mito (que parte de la tradición oral) es la realización de la poesía. La poesía da con y supone una experiencia artística (que solamente se puede obtener con motivo de lo real), la cual da con el poema (que es la composición escrita de una experiencia artística de la poesía). El poema da entonces con lo real (que es el horizonte; es lo indiscernible en lo que desemboca la intimidad y donde la individualidad no se divisa; es lo de afuera que nos sobrecoge; lo real es a su vez: el límite, porque es aquello que marca, y lo ilimitado, porque es aquello que señala lo que está más allá), que es dado por el lenguaje (aquello en lo que incide lo real; la experiencia de lo indiscernible/lo imposible). En el centro de este proceso de creación se encuentra el “Intimus” (intimidad-que ya no pertenece al sujeto, sino al lenguaje mismo).
[...]
Dice Guillén que precisamente le estaba reservado a Mallarmé el secreto de las inmensas acumulaciones exigidas por el movimiento del verso o por las penetraciones de la estrofa. Para sobreponerse en su obra a la fugitividad del momento, Mallarmé une las inexistentes articulaciones del vacío junto a la sensación de los cuerpos y de los objetos, lo que hace que adquiera una forma grandiosa y trágica, como visto en la sucesión de su trabajo poético. En Un coup de dés se intenta el avance y el retroceso de los timbres y la colocación espacial del poema en la jerarquía de las constelaciones.
[...]
Mallarmé pone a prueba lo real y abisma en el lenguaje. Hay un campo semántico de la negatividad en todas las palabras que pone en perspectiva el sentido del poema. Dos palabras “le maître” y “le nom” están ligadas en término de imagen y ponen en relación aquello que ordena y manda. Por otra parte, el azar (lo que se adivina) de este poema tiene de trasfondo el caos de lo incalculable del azar. Es esto el sostén del delirio: la deconstrucción del “yo”. El lenguaje no significa nada, más allá del deseo de significar algo...
[...]
But it won't be enough
NOT ONE ANSWER will be enough.
My presentation went amazingly well, however. I'm still finding that a tad bit too hard to believe.
***
I am falling in love with poetry all over again.
Stepháne Mallarmé is Love: God of Abismal Thoughts.
----------------------------------------
*Mallarmenian Theology = 1. the desperate attempt to name the nihilistic solitude found in Stepháne Mallarmé's poetry. It denotes the silence, the violent music, the stagnant stampede of negative distractions, and the over-flowing verbal suicide. 2. Delirium.
As found in: My artistic experience
Hands together, legs crossed.
And I am so very, very happy with things that aren't.
Truly ecstatic with things that didn't become.
...Until I acknowledge I am thinking about them in their realization.
***
Other than that...
Last week was hellish.
The weekend was worse.
Monday...I resurrected, somehow.
I had to work on this test during the weekend for my poetry class.
FUCKED-UPNESS ALL OVER, it was, to say the least.
In the end, I did it, and I think I got into the trip, too:
[...]
"Se podría decir, en resumen, que el mito, trasfondo caótico e inmemorial, es el momento donde las cosas no se distinguen unas de otras; es la indistinción de lo real. El mito (que parte de la tradición oral) es la realización de la poesía. La poesía da con y supone una experiencia artística (que solamente se puede obtener con motivo de lo real), la cual da con el poema (que es la composición escrita de una experiencia artística de la poesía). El poema da entonces con lo real (que es el horizonte; es lo indiscernible en lo que desemboca la intimidad y donde la individualidad no se divisa; es lo de afuera que nos sobrecoge; lo real es a su vez: el límite, porque es aquello que marca, y lo ilimitado, porque es aquello que señala lo que está más allá), que es dado por el lenguaje (aquello en lo que incide lo real; la experiencia de lo indiscernible/lo imposible). En el centro de este proceso de creación se encuentra el “Intimus” (intimidad-que ya no pertenece al sujeto, sino al lenguaje mismo).
[...]
Dice Guillén que precisamente le estaba reservado a Mallarmé el secreto de las inmensas acumulaciones exigidas por el movimiento del verso o por las penetraciones de la estrofa. Para sobreponerse en su obra a la fugitividad del momento, Mallarmé une las inexistentes articulaciones del vacío junto a la sensación de los cuerpos y de los objetos, lo que hace que adquiera una forma grandiosa y trágica, como visto en la sucesión de su trabajo poético. En Un coup de dés se intenta el avance y el retroceso de los timbres y la colocación espacial del poema en la jerarquía de las constelaciones.
[...]
Mallarmé pone a prueba lo real y abisma en el lenguaje. Hay un campo semántico de la negatividad en todas las palabras que pone en perspectiva el sentido del poema. Dos palabras “le maître” y “le nom” están ligadas en término de imagen y ponen en relación aquello que ordena y manda. Por otra parte, el azar (lo que se adivina) de este poema tiene de trasfondo el caos de lo incalculable del azar. Es esto el sostén del delirio: la deconstrucción del “yo”. El lenguaje no significa nada, más allá del deseo de significar algo...
[...]
But it won't be enough
NOT ONE ANSWER will be enough.
My presentation went amazingly well, however. I'm still finding that a tad bit too hard to believe.
***
I am falling in love with poetry all over again.
Stepháne Mallarmé is Love: God of Abismal Thoughts.
----------------------------------------
*Mallarmenian Theology = 1. the desperate attempt to name the nihilistic solitude found in Stepháne Mallarmé's poetry. It denotes the silence, the violent music, the stagnant stampede of negative distractions, and the over-flowing verbal suicide. 2. Delirium.
As found in: My artistic experience
angry
I have this thing, you see....
I'm not the epitome of intellectualism..but I'm also not so far down the drain:
I'm extremely clumsy, but I'm kind.
I'm pretty chaotic in thoughts, but I can articulate them well.
I'm extremely demanding, but that's because I give.
I can be pretty self-indulging, but that's because I've been through plenty.
I'm extremely hyper, but I'm extremely sad, but I'm extremely happy, but I'm...Me.
Many times, however, I am forgetful and oblivious.
I've noticed that being forgetful can get you in a lot of trouble, due to the details you cannot recall [dates, names, numbers, places, etc].
Being oblivious, however, can cause destruction:
Not noticing what you've done in taking somebody's heart and squashing it, while gently looking at the remaining pieces in your hand...
Not knowing what it is for a person to completely open up to you, and taking it lightly, just because "it's me, and that's how it is".
I ABHORunderstanding in stages.
...I read our very last conversation, today. I had kept it. I had forgotten I had it.
I am no longer oblivious as to what really happened,
but you'll never know, will you?
You are a little box that closed itself from whatever I did and/or could irradiate.
And the crevices that are left on your sides are meant for you to breathe.
I only wish to tell you that I'm sorry,
and also that I loved you.
I still do,
and that's why we never talked.
There's no evil in company,
and neither is there substitute for a monster that cries.
I'm not the epitome of intellectualism..but I'm also not so far down the drain:
I'm extremely clumsy, but I'm kind.
I'm pretty chaotic in thoughts, but I can articulate them well.
I'm extremely demanding, but that's because I give.
I can be pretty self-indulging, but that's because I've been through plenty.
I'm extremely hyper, but I'm extremely sad, but I'm extremely happy, but I'm...Me.
Many times, however, I am forgetful and oblivious.
I've noticed that being forgetful can get you in a lot of trouble, due to the details you cannot recall [dates, names, numbers, places, etc].
Being oblivious, however, can cause destruction:
Not noticing what you've done in taking somebody's heart and squashing it, while gently looking at the remaining pieces in your hand...
Not knowing what it is for a person to completely open up to you, and taking it lightly, just because "it's me, and that's how it is".
I ABHOR
...I read our very last conversation, today. I had kept it. I had forgotten I had it.
I am no longer oblivious as to what really happened,
but you'll never know, will you?
You are a little box that closed itself from whatever I did and/or could irradiate.
And the crevices that are left on your sides are meant for you to breathe.
I only wish to tell you that I'm sorry,
and also that I loved you.
I still do,
and that's why we never talked.
There's no evil in company,
and neither is there substitute for a monster that cries.
anxious
Oh College...
(Thanks, once again, Ce, for the wonderful For-Frannie-Made imagery).
And I have ALL THE RIGHT in all the WORLDS to use Nihilism as a weapon today.
Just re-read Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra.
*Note: Professors, DO NOT PISS ME OFF.
"Thus should one learn to die; and there should be no festival at which such a dying one doth not consecrate the oaths of the living!", from Voluntary Death
(Thanks, once again, Ce, for the wonderful For-Frannie-Made imagery).
And I have ALL THE RIGHT in all the WORLDS to use Nihilism as a weapon today.
Just re-read Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra.
*Note: Professors, DO NOT PISS ME OFF.
"Thus should one learn to die; and there should be no festival at which such a dying one doth not consecrate the oaths of the living!", from Voluntary Death
Of Gothic Matching and Trends
Posted on 2006.09.19 at 14:52Current Location: Lawyer's office
Current Mood:
crazy
Current Music: I SWEAR....I just heard part of "Closer" by NIN
Hey, yeah… you know what? I love my girls. <3
Goodness be gracious forever, I do.
-Hallelujah-
Hence, I pretty much say “fuck you” to several capitalist entities built upon loads of self-imagined-reliance shit, like: trends, “what’s cool right now”, “that’s hot” [which has ironically become a personal fave motto], and others.
So, at 24 years of age, I WILL FALL –for the 1st time EVAH in my history!-UNDER MAJOR PEER PRESSURE.
***suspense builds up***
“But, Frannie dearest, HOW?”…do you ask?
Well, BY FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEBODY THAT LIVES FAR…FAR AWAY, that’s how!
Duh!
…Yeah, ‘cuz, apparently, That’s like...totally IN, right now with the girls. My girls.
Find your national/supra-national/extended-romanti
Oh! Oh yeah…
BTW:
For now, let’s just say his name is “Red” [it’s all about the hair, dahling]
Mallarmerian Daffodils
Posted on 2006.09.01 at 15:25Current Location: A purgatory of sorts
Current Music: The Cranberries-Daffodil Lament
I make myself sick when I feel like this.
It’s not even a knot in the stomach, no…
It’s a knot on the neck…
It’s a knot on the neck, especially in the back, that somehow composes itself and grows until it reaches the extremities of the cerebellum.
I sure as hell do not feel the pain, but it’s pressure that I abhor.
Pressure caused by uncertainty
and discontent.
I’m sure I once shared, “I’d rather die than conform.” And, you’d blame that on a youngster’s idealist pragmatism, wouldn’t you? If you do, we’ve got a problem, because I still feel that way, and I’m not as incredibly naive as I was when I said that.
And if so, where am I exactly?
Everywhere I’ve ever wanted to be.
I walk around the streets of every city in
With every year that passes by I feel as though I grow weaker in spirit just because I’m far away…so very far, but far from where? I don’t belong here. Surely, my dad holds my all of my love, and my bother all of my precious memories, but, I do not belong here.
What or who on this place or the ether did I separate from that I miss ever so eagerly that makes me want to crawl into the earth and stay there to stop it from hurting?
I cannot pretend that “this is exactly what I want to be doing”, because, truth of the matter is, it’s not.
but I fear that won't be the case.
I fear I might die before I do.
I fear I’ll remain,
Though remaining would bring death by itself.
blah
I've always wanted to arrive at the airport -last minute, but not quite, with a lil' bag of necessary amenities- and hop on a plane, literally, just hop on it: do it . In my mind, yes, that would be quite the adventure. In real life, however -boo! booooo!!!!!-::: I'd need proper baggage and insurance, and plenty of money, for emergencies and what not.
I should be sleeping, but, once again, my mind seems to have wandered off. Funny: I had wanted to go to NY with somebody during the summer, and couldn't. The amount of $ that I had then is not too different to the amount I own atm. What has changed is that, if I was to make that trip during X-mas, I'd have several companions...AND no need to spend cash on hotels/hostels. Some other good news? Ticket prices haven't changed much since June.
Seems AWESOME, right?
Perhaps.
The only problem is that I need ALL the $ that I HAVE atm in order to pay my tuition this semester. And I have nooo idea as to HOW I'll pay my tuition the next one. I fear that even if I did work I couldn't provide 1/4 of it.
How can you be impulsive when paper gets in the way?
I'm going to have to get my act together and actually work on assignments both on weekdays AND weekends *shivers*, so that I have time to go to WORK AND GET PAID....which I reaaaaally, reaaaaaaaaally didn't want to have to do this semester.
Meh. NY or not, I was gonna have to work, anyway...I guess. Might as well get some vacation in X-mass for it.
I should just marry a Persian prince. Heh. If only that dream would come true.
*sigh* I'm off to sprinkle happy-go-goth-love in the lawyer's office this week. Woop-pee-freaking-doo!
I should be sleeping, but, once again, my mind seems to have wandered off. Funny: I had wanted to go to NY with somebody during the summer, and couldn't. The amount of $ that I had then is not too different to the amount I own atm. What has changed is that, if I was to make that trip during X-mas, I'd have several companions...AND no need to spend cash on hotels/hostels. Some other good news? Ticket prices haven't changed much since June.
Seems AWESOME, right?
Perhaps.
The only problem is that I need ALL the $ that I HAVE atm in order to pay my tuition this semester. And I have nooo idea as to HOW I'll pay my tuition the next one. I fear that even if I did work I couldn't provide 1/4 of it.
How can you be impulsive when paper gets in the way?
I'm going to have to get my act together and actually work on assignments both on weekdays AND weekends *shivers*, so that I have time to go to WORK AND GET PAID....which I reaaaaally, reaaaaaaaaally didn't want to have to do this semester.
Meh. NY or not, I was gonna have to work, anyway...I guess. Might as well get some vacation in X-mass for it.
I should just marry a Persian prince. Heh. If only that dream would come true.
*sigh* I'm off to sprinkle happy-go-goth-love in the lawyer's office this week. Woop-pee-freaking-doo!